How did we get to feeling like an imposter and why does it still trip us up?
Remember: Labels are for packages NOT people. Let’s explore 13 things to avoid when it comes to feeling like we don’t have the goods to deliver.
We may not want to hear this, but if we are resolute on getting rid of imposter syndrome, we need to avoid these 13 things!
What is holding us back from reaching our fullest potential?
What is keeping us stuck in the feelings of fear and lack of confidence?
This is actually about ego. That thing that engages within us when we are doing something unfamiliar, or for the first time, or out of our comfort zone.
We will explore 7 of these today and the remainder in next week’s power article.
Now is the time to understand this ego and bust through it, and bust through the label!
#1 Blame ego – we blame ourselves or others for where we are at. The system, the boss, our family, the kids, the partner, the lack of a partner, our culture. We blame ourselves for ‘not preparing enough, or not knowing enough’. This ego is just holding us back to stay on the label.
#2 Know it all ego – we think we know all that information, that we know what we need to do, that we have the knowledge (but we don’t take action). And so, we stay stuck in the absolutes of “well this is how it is, so this is what I have to put up with”.
#3 Fearful ego – fear holds us back. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of making a mistake. We need to realise the truth. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. It is false, it is a story we make up about something we haven’t done before.
#4 Comfort zone ego – I’m happy where I am. I don’t really want to go for that promotion, that job, that grant. It’s okay, I’m not really that ambitious. This is about our stories making us play small, keeping us back from reaching for our full potential.
#5 Judgmental ego – We judge everyone around us (and ourselves) and compare. They’re so much better at that than me. I couldn’t possibly do this. Well, they must have had better opportunities than me, they must have had better luck at getting the best mentor, the best opportunities. Everything seems so easy for them, but not for me! We make up stories about ‘them’, how do you know?
#6 Excuses ego – we constantly make excuses. I don’t have enough time, I can’t do that because. I don’t have enough resources, I don’t know enough yet to do that. We pull up every excuse we can to hold ourselves back and not expand into greatness.
#7 Pleasing ego – we want to make everyone happy. We don’t want to rock the boat. We want to please others before we consider what we want or need. We constantly put everyone else first and then there’s nothing left for us. Remember the oxygen mask analogy – put the O2 mask on YOURSELF first and then help others!
#8 The … ego: We will explore the other 6 next week…
Which of these egos do you have?
Be honest with yourself. I’ve had all of these for some time, and still working through some of them.
If you want to get rid of Imposter Syndrome and cease the labelling of self, then explore these egos with courage and inquiry.
Awareness brings change – we cannot change anything we do not know and therefore if you want to STOP FEELING LIKE AN IMPOSTER, you need to know about these 13 egos.
We transform people’s lives, support them to go on this powerful transformational journey in their careers, and within 5 days, 4 nights, you will not even recognise yourself because you will have the self-awareness, the confidence, the drive, the inspiration to break out of this imposter box and do it differently.
Thank you Dan Lok for this inspiration!
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