The conversation you are most resisting is the conversation you most need to have!
What I mean by this is, all too often we get upset or hurt by someone, it could be a work colleague, a boss, it could even be someone in our family and we want to say something but think to ourselves that we better not.
The problem is we have been taught by society not to speak up. It is almost an unwritten rule not to say what we would really like to say. This is even more endemic in the hierarchy of STEMM. We then let our thoughts run wild and have a belief that if we say something, we will get laughed at, or people will think we are weird, or they will get angry, or we might fail, or we believe if we do speak up then the relationship will end.
But you see, the most effective team members and leaders, the best of the best, those who accomplish greatly, all have one thing in common… they speak up and share their truth.
Yes, speaking up and saying what we want to say takes practise. It’s like anything, the more you practise, the better you get. The better the quality of your practise, the better your results and performance will be.
The more you speak up, practise saying what you need to say and follow through with your truth, the more your confidence will grow and the more you will step into your Authentic Power.
However, the more you deceive yourself by not speaking up when someone is not being polite or someone is being disrespectful, or anytime when you swallow what you most need to say, you lose your power.
We give away our power to the things that we avoid.
The courageous talks, conversations, moments of speaking up, are when we actually grow the most. We not only grow the most in our own Authentic power, but we also strengthen our relationships and open up opportunities for all our relationships to prosper.
When we are willing to step up and engage in courageous conversations we are cultivating a situation for two mature people to have an open, honest and Authentic conversation. Of course, this is if the relationship is right for us. Not all relationships will be right and therefore conversations will not always cultivate openness. That is just perfect too!
4 Tactics To Speak Up: When Your Voice Is Shaky or To Have A Courageous Conversation.
1⃣ Listen deeply. Listen with absolute fullness and be present in that exact moment. If you want to build a culture of high performers? Stop talking so much and listen.
2⃣ Say whatever you want, as long as you say it with Respect. Say whatever you want to a teammate, an employee, a colleague, a friend or a family member, so long as you
3⃣ Be clear in your communication. Be precise, stop dancing around the issue. Get to the point of your communication. Give specific examples.
4⃣ Let go of the issue. Once you’ve got it out of your system, move on. There is no need to keep bringing up the concern or live in the past. Let go of the issue.
The simple message here is: Courageous conversations build your Authentic Power as a Leader, as a high performer and as a respectful human being.