Do you feel like things are getting out of control?
That you suddenly are unable to make basic decisions, or even provide the basics that you or your family need?
This often induces stress, and at times panic – but we don’t need to get caught up in this. We can set in motion a chain reaction in a different direction!
A great way to reduce stress, gain a sense of control and be in the moment is to set boundaries. This does not mean you are closing people out of your life for ever. It means you are controlling the controllables, and setting yourself up to be the best version of yourself. A boundary is a limit, a line or defining point that you are willing to work within or up to.
This can be determined by you, for you or with you.
If we think of those times when we feel frustrated, have a plethora of tasks to get done, and colleagues, friends or family members want us to help them out as well. As the demands of the day mount up, it can seem that even the essential tasks do not get done. It may feel like we are being pushed, pulled and stretched in every which way possible by other people and external factors.
These chaotic situations are prime examples when boundaries are vital. Boundaries help us to regain clarity, sanity and also brain capacity. Boundaries assist us to be in the moment, regain control and help us to slow down.
Setting boundaries at work and at home leads to more calm and less stress. They lead to a more efficacious and gratifying experience as we are better able to focus on what is important to us in that moment. Learning to set boundaries with our colleagues, our boss and the people we live with is crucial if we want to create positively productive work spaces, higher levels of achievement in a day and more constructive relationships.
This is not…
about blocking people out, being obstructive or being unhelpful. This is able looking after yourself, putting some parameters in place to focus on YOUR important tasks, and to feel more in control at the end of the day.
If you are not in the habit of setting boundaries, a great place to start is with yourself. Ask yourself ‘what boundaries can I put in place to be the best version of me?’
Maybe it’s leaving work on time, closing the door to visitors for a set length of time, gently saying – that is awesome and I want to hear more about it, but I need the next 2 hours to finish this first. Maybe it’s about cooking an easy dinner instead of getting takeaways, eating dinner with family or friends with no devices allowed so you connect more with each other, or maybe it’s about just going to bed earlier.
When we begin putting boundaries in place, we realise that we deserve the time and space to put ourselves FIRST – for that period of time, to focus on things with clarity and flow, and not with distraction and segmentation. When we engage our confident Authentic self to begin setting boundaries, we will regain clarity, respect and calm.