Many organisations fail to recognise the connection between communication and teams. They have a deep fear of losing good people yet are unsure what to do to prevent it. We all want to have clear and concise communication, be highly productive, and feel that we have the best organisation to attract and keep the most skilled people in their field. So how do we do this?
If an organisation, team or relationship has any desire of being successful, it is critical that they consistently implement Effective Authentic Communication! (Read HERE)
As we progress through this month’s focus, today we delve into the three reasons why human beings communicate, and explore what their intention for that communication is.
Human beings communicate for three reasons:
1. To amplify positive feelings: This is when we want to share some awesome news, share a message, or share something to impact people. We communicate to feel better than we already do and amplify the positives.
2. To share our pain: In this instance, we say or do things to share our anger, frustration or hurt that will often harm the relationship or person(s) we are communicating with. Why do we do this? It’s a cry for help. People are angry because they are hurting, and when we communicate at that time, we are asking for help.
3. To get a better result: Our purpose at that moment is to take whatever it is that’s happening and make it better, to get a different end result. Why do we want to create a better result? Because we think that by creating a new result we will feel good and have our efforts validated.
Notice that in all three reasons for communicating there is one vital purpose and that is, to feel better than we were initially.
But what is our intention in communicating in the first place?
So often human beings are not consciously aware of; what they are communicating, why they are communicating, or the impact it has on themselves or the people around them. This lack of conscious awareness, purpose or intention, contributes to negative consequences for all involved.
In these instances, we may feel ‘good’ during the communication we are giving, however, the other person is often left feeling ‘bad’. Sometimes our mismatch of communication leaves both parties feeling ‘bad’.
It is in this moment of reacting and responding that humans look to lay blame, shame or judgement, either on themselves or others for communicating poorly.
So, in all moments of communication, we must ask ourselves what is our purpose at this moment?
Is it to clarify something, is it to put the other person in their place, is it to justify or make excuses, is it to attribute blame to someone, is it to boost and encourage, is it to build or destroy? Do we have the intention for all parties to “feel good” or are we communicating without purposeful intention?
Communicating from a place of Effective Authentic Communication means that even if in the short-term there may be discomfort or even fallout, in the long-term the communication can provide an opportunity for adaptation; to learn, grow, expand, clarify and ultimately, feel good.